We are the Staves.

Thankful.

2012-01-17T13:47:00.000-07:00

I've been going to the doctor for years to see if maybe this time there will be a magical cure for my tendency to have extreme fatigue and feel pretty much like trash. ALL. THE. TIME. They suck my blood and then 2 weeks later I pay for another visit that generally goes like this:

Dr: Well, you're not pregnant and you don't have mono.

Me: Oh. Ok.

Dr: I hope you feel better soon.

Meanwhile, in my mind I'm raging. OH REALLY? THANKS! Because it's not like I don't know what it's like to have mono... and PREGNANT? SERIOUSLY? Yes, I have been carrying a child for 3 years straight and of course that's the reason you and I both suspected extreme fatigue. I mean, wow... thank you Doctors for making me feel so stupid. Of course I should have known.

So, one day my Mother-in-law was telling me about how amid similar experiences, she decided she was finally sick of receiving the run-around treatment and tried something new. A naturopathic doctor. She said that her Dr looked at all the nitty gritty that other doctors don't usually give the time of day to. The things she learned and the actions she took as a result were amazing, she said. Finally, after mulling over the thought of trying something new and not covered by insurance, I decided to go for it.

Off I went. The naturopathic doctor spent about an hour asking me very detailed questions about all aspects of my well-being, and then right off the bat, told me some things I didn't realize were problems. First, I am wound so remarkably tight that my adrenal response is off the charts in a bad way. Second, I had no idea that the reason I always felt the worst on weekends was because my entire life revolves around my commute and job, when I break from the schedule and stay up late and sleep late, it really screws me up. He ordered some labs. First, the complete blood count that I'd had taken so many times before. Then, a thyroid test, a MTFHR (methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase) test, cholesterol, and a few others that I can't remember because they were strange. One of them, he said, was for a somewhat bothersome gene mutation that most doctors don't suspect.

After a few weeks, the labs came back. Almost everything was normal! Except for my vitamin D levels... way too low. And, my MTFHR test. What?? I don't even know what that means! My Dr reminded me that it was the gene mutation one. Apparently I have a tiny mutation on chromosome 1 that makes my body so it doesn't know what to do with folic acid. I don't produce the enzyme needed to break it down properly. Aha, so that explains everything. He put me on a supplement plan that includes D and an "activated" version of folic acid.

I would link to a page with MTFHR info, but they are all crazy scientific. Google it yourself and see if you have better luck than me at deciphering that foreign language called Science. What little I understood helped me to see that a deficiency of folic acid is not fetus-friendly (and possibly not even conception-friendly) or me-friendly at all.

Glad I found that out now instead of later.

I think that the only way to sum it up is that I feel thankful that someone has gone above and beyond in the interest of my health and well-being. I am optimistic, and happy to finally have some answers.

There's also the part where he prescribed me to take 100 deep breaths a day. Bonus points to Dr for having a sense of humor while treating a total basket case :)

[RACHEL]

Next time.

2012-01-15T09:50:00.001-07:00

The next time a colleague says I look just like a student (we see each other every day, why do you have to say it every time we cross paths?), I have a feeling this might slip out instead of an awkward chuckle...

"Oh, that's funny! For a second, I thought you were my grandma."

[RACHEL]

So this is the new year...

2012-01-09T13:26:00.000-07:00

So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions
-DCFC

2011 was insane. It wasn't one of those years that I wish I could kick in the butt (2008?), as there were several parts that I loved dearly. It was more like a lesson in jumping through flaming hoops, drinking from a fire hydrant, and then simultaneously recovering from the burns and near drowning experience... Meanwhile, living life passionately.

I decided that I don't like the idea of resolutions. To resolve means that you recognize that you sucked at something and vow to fix it. I am not closed off to progress. It's a wonderful thing that should be a constant. To place meaning on once-a-year goals with forgotten accountability just seems to trivialize the passionate effort of doing my best every day. But that's just me. New Year's resolutions from my past fall along the lines of self-denial and penance (No more ice cream???). Life is meant to be enjoyed. Thoughtful moderation seems more fitting. Anyways, having said that, I have thought of some things I would like to try. I want to keep goals centered on promoting a well-rounded existence. Way more fun and self-friendly than the resolutions of years past :)

Try a new recipe from my cookbooks or Pinterest once a week
Brush up on Latin dancing with my foxy husband. I haven't been on the dance floor since my tendons went bad in my feet.
Use my sewing machine to do a project every month or two-- something other than repairs and alterations
Get back to running 3-4 miles a day-- not because I want to drop pounds (for the first time in my life I am happy with how I am. The toning would be a bonus, though), but because when I was in this habit, I was invigorated, low-stress, and actually spent some time outdoors. Again, something I lost track of when my tendons went bad.
Read for pleasure

As usual, my insides are all in a knot over the future. Grad school? Career path? Something else? I feel like lately my head has been on backwards and that I need to get back to ME so that I can make the most of the coming year. I've put myself on the back burner for too long! As if life wasn't huge already, it's about to get insanely large, I can feel it. BRING IT ON, BABY. No, that was not an announcement.

[RACHEL]

Someone is trying to kill me.

2011-12-18T10:28:00.003-07:00

September- Sinus infection #1 & sore throat #1
October- Sinus infection #2
November- Sinus infection #3 & Sore throat #2
December- Sore throat #3, so bad I completely lost my voice for 3 days
December again (on the tail of the last one)- Food poisoning that won't GO AWAY.

Help me please, I am already out of sick days and there is more than half of a school year left.

[RACHEL]

The time when I almost beat someone up...

2011-12-06T20:08:00.000-07:00

A post I found in my drafts, from a really long time ago. Finished but forgotten, until now.
___________________

...and also almost got lit on fire by a guy who thought he'd light up a smoke. No big deal.

April 11, 2011. The day I went to the concert of my dreams. Arcade Fire came to the UVU events center and as soon as tickets went on sale I snatched one up. I had been anxiously anticipating this since they announced they were coming in February. I was excited. Now, when you pack in several hundred more people just as excited as me into the floor area, things can get a little crazy. I got there with my sister and we thought we might try to find the rest of the group we had bought tickets with. It took all of the opening act and much of the time between sets to do this. And it was difficult. We decided to follow in the wake of a really pushy strong guy who was plowing through the crowd and just pretended not to hear all the dirty things people were saying about us and getting mad that we didn't even know him. Interestingly, we all were looking for the same crowd, so in the end that was OK. We were about seven feet from the front when everyone started getting grumpy around us. It was a literal sea of people with currents and waves.. When someone moved, everyone else had to move. So, of course, the people in the very front got mad about being crowded and pushed, so they pushed back. It was hard to even stand.

The music started and it was amazing, aside from being packed like sardines. This guy in front of us was dancing all wild, which is fine.. I understand getting into the music and the moment, but there just wasn't room for that. He was dancing like he had a 2 foot safety zone when in reality it was more like negative 6 inches safety zone. He kept smacking me in the chest and after about a song and a half it was getting old. Hey, it's a SENSITIVE ZONE. Then he stepped on my foot and broke my toenail. It became clear to me that if I was going to enjoy this experience, I needed to do something about him. So, I pushed him real hard in the back and said, "DO YOU MIND!??!?!?" He looked at me with equal parts upset, bewilderment, and angry, and then went back to his ways. I had to use every bit of my strength to not to get in his face again. So, we decided to move and in turn, avoided dishing out the fist.

Moving to the back was challenging, though. We had to elbow our way through the crowds, and as we moved back, others moved forward to take up the space we left behind. I was leading the way, and when we were almost to a part of the venue that actually still had non- BO oxygen in it, I just about walked into an open flame. The guy was too busy lighting up to notice that I had bumped into him. Going to concerts has taught me a few things, one of them being some people (and if it's the Del Mar Racetrack, just about everyone-- that place is a little too scary for me now) will probably get stoned. The thing that blew my mind about this guy was that he was the only one doing it, and that it was an indoor show. Real smart, duuuude.

Despite the insanity, I had the chance to listen to some amazing music. Local Natives opened for Arcade Fire, and I loved their set. Lots of energy, and the sound of their music was great. Arcade Fire did not fail to impress and delivered their songs with their quirky awesomeness. There were a couple of songs that I imagined would be super awesome live, and sure enough they were. Wake Up, Rebellion, and Ready to Start were right on target.

Once it was all done, I drove a bunch of the friends home. One of the guys in the back seat kept going on and on and on about this "crazy smell" he caught a whiff of in the arena. Oh, if only he knew...

Arcade Fire. The show was great... I just wish the fans could have been a little nicer.

[RACHEL]

One last shenannigan.

2011-12-02T12:28:00.000-07:00

Love story continued.

After our first date, I got a little anxious about the protocol for the post-date wait. It had been a while since I had been in a normal relationship, and I wasn't sure how I would know if I was still on the hook, so to speak. So, Tuesday hit and I was about to go crazy. Still hadn't heard from him, outside of one or two random texts. (Keep in mind that I was his first "girl interaction" since his mission :p) Tuesday is BYU's Devotional Day. If you're busy on Tuesday at 11, you're probably lying or overachieving. So, I decided to give him a call to see if we could go to devotional together (a thing I had tried several times in the past to see if there was "anything there" with guys I'd had great dates with the weekend before).

We didn't end up going because I didn't call early enough and he was busy-- at that time, I thought he was an alumnus of Phillips Exeter Academy since he was wearing a PEA jacket on our first date, and I was totally shaking in my boots intimidated by his hardcore-ness... turns out his mom works there-- so, not a freakish overachiever or a maker of excuses (who wouldn't want to go to devotional with me, haha), just being a good student who uses devotional to study and eat, instead of take a nap on the nearest couch like I did.

We finally got in touch with each other later in the afternoon. I had missed a call from him earlier so, I called him back and we finally were talking. It just so happened that we were about a football field away from each other and he could see me. After I found him, we started talking in person. He was on his way to the testing center, so I walked with him. We were both very happy to see each other, which I took for a good sign. We decided that it would be fun to spend time together later, and then I shared my cookies with him and wished him luck on his test.

At home, about an hour and a half later, I got a phone call from Dan while I was in the middle of making Macaroni and Cheese for one. He had just come out of the testing center and was wondering if he could help me make dinner. He also thanked me for the note* I gave him. I was a little confused at first, but then I thought he was talking about the text I sent him wishing him luck on the test. It was too cute to pass up, so I put the macaroni into the fridge and said yes. He sounded really excited to come over.

We made quinoa, chicken, and broccoli, because that was all I had. Luckily, it was amazing. It was fun to cook with him, and after dinner he even helped with dishes (bonus points). We were sitting on the couch and I was showing him my graphic design portfolio when he slipped his arm around me. Moments later, he decided that a kiss would be a good idea, too. Boy, was it ever! My last first kiss... hallelujah. Truly an earthshaking moment in history :)

Dan went home and found out that the note was a fake, written by his roommate Justin. It was a picture of Dan totally owning at Rock Band, with something to the effect of "You're amazing at Rockband, marry me! Love, Rachel" written on it. Dan later admitted that the note was the reason he had the boldness to invite himself over and go for the kiss. I tip my imaginary hat to you, Justin. That was one great shenanigan.

[RACHEL]

*At the bottom of the stairwell where people leave the testing center to go watch the awful TV of Doom to see their score, there is a really big windowsill where people leave notes of affection and/or happiness for their amorcitos/friends who have just finished up.

Inspired.

2011-11-19T19:56:00.001-07:00

A tidbit I found on pinterest that provoked my thoughts very much.

You'll know when you find it...

The feeling of knowing is quite an amazing thing. Knowing when I met the man of my dreams was all-out exhilarating. Knowing when to quit paddling and stand that one time when I surfed was quite a treasure (and for most people, that's good enough to be called a surfer... score! I know better though). Knowing that I found the right major made school challenging and exciting for me.

As for knowing what to do with the rest of my life, all I can say is that there is a roaring sliver of me (that I fight daily to SHUT UP) that wants MORE. Still entertaining the idea of becoming a professor. Currently entertaining the idea of becoming a mother. I am working on finding it!

[RACHEL]

Exhausted.

2011-11-04T10:33:00.001-06:00

Teaching makes me tired sometimes. The commute is physically exhausting. Taking on the unofficial roles of ESL educator, SPED teacher, and wild preteen educator is mentally exhausting. This week, an earth shaking event gave me another role to step up to. Grief counselor. A role I wasn't expecting to take on, hoping to never take on. A student passed away in a very sad, preventable auto-pedestrian accident outside the school. It happened just before school started, a combination of darkness (remind me why they pushed daylight savings time back so late again...) and a bend in the road. He was not in any of my classes, but the two boys who made it across the street in time are. The students were distraught for many reasons-- some of them were close to him. Some of them were hit with the realization that life is fragile. Some were afraid, realizing that they have crossed the street without using crosswalks many times, realizing the risk that they were taking. Some of them were recalling memories of their own loved ones passing away. It was my job to be strong and understanding. It was my job to make sure the kids understood what happened, to prevent rumor. It was hard. It was emotionally exhausting.

Walking into the building the next day felt strange. The atmosphere was filled with an unspoken sadness. I had a hard time pushing out my own memories of loss. Of my grandma, who I looked up to so much, and learned so much from. Of Kevin, the guy from my high school Spanish class, whose life was taken too soon by a car accident. He and his friends were the reason why that class was so fun. The change in atmosphere for that class was so stark, I can only imagine how the loss at my own school now is affecting each of the children who are the classmates of this young boy.

My heart breaks for the family of that boy, for the memories they will not get to make, for his young siblings who will never get to know their big brother in this life. My heart breaks for the two kids who made it across safely. My heart breaks for the students at my school, so torn by this loss.

Here I am, on my day off... exhausted.

[RACHEL]

Stuff people say...

2011-10-27T15:58:00.002-06:00

Today, I was evaluated. My class was well-behaved, and the lesson went very well. I could not be more pleased! Though, there was an awkward moment when I wasn't sure how to react to a student's comment.

First, some background info. I am teaching a marketing unit. I had an industrial bottle of pink antibacterial spray with a boring label on it. I had emphasized the word boring many times. I compared it to a Windex bottle that was more enticing with its design. I asked students how it made them feel.

Mrs. Staves: (holding up bottle of cleaner) What does this bottle remind you of?
Girl: (in complete naive seriousness) It makes me feel thirsty, like I want to drink it.
Mrs. Staves: (my face feels like it has this priceless expression of confusion and hilarity on it, wish I could have seen it) .............ok............... why wouldn't you want to buy it?

I wonder if that counts against me...

[RACHEL]

An engineer's wife.

2011-10-15T19:35:00.000-06:00

No one prepared me for the reality of being alone and stir-crazy at 7:30pm on a Saturday night. Dan is doing a marathon drafting session in the Crabtree CAEDM lab... I thought only I was allowed to do that! I guess it sucks to be on the other side.

It started out great, with chocolate, a bubble bath, and a chick flick on the DVR... and then I got really bored. So, I checked the mail. Empty mailbox. And then I watched another movie. I am not sure what else to do with myself, the house is already clean!

I wonder if this is how my mom felt sometimes when my dad was an Engineering student at BYU...

Wives of Engineers. I should start a support group.

[RACHEL]

Wouldn't it be funny if...

2011-09-21T15:21:00.002-06:00

Or, the story of our first date.

The day before, we all gathered at Mike's apartment for Rock Band/Movie Night. There was a vacant spot next to Dan on the love seat-- reserved for me only. This was understood by everyone in the room, because word gets around. Word had also gotten around that I prefer a single rose to a dozen, and a princess-cut solitaire to gaudy, garish rings that are almost crusty with diamonds. Mike does enjoy giving people a heads-up... he did it for me, I suppose it was only fair that he did it for Dan :) I was equal parts entertained and embarrassed about the public revelation of these details. Once I had regained my normal, non-blushing face color, I took my seat next to Dan. We sang some pretty awesome duets on Rock Band, and then watched Oceans 11 or maybe 12. I don't know. All I know is that we were both thinking about holding hands and both worried about getting ahead of ourselves. Dan gave me a ride home when everything was done. He walked me to the door where we had another funny side-hug... and then said see ya tomorrow.

The next day was cold and cloudy. January 31st 2009. My last first date, though I didn't know that as I was getting ready. I went through the usual ritual for getting ready, then waited nervously to be picked up. I thought it was weird that I was nervous, having been on countless firsts...

Dan was at the door right on time. I was still scared that we had talked out all of the usual first date material. There was no need to worry, though. We walked out to the car where we started having nice, organic, easy conversation. This was a good thing, because the other couple kind of took a long time to come to the car.

Once everyone was ready, we sped up to SLC, because we realized we were going to be late to see the Joseph Smith movie. About 25 minutes into the drive, we saw flashing lights and were are all terribly amused about what the problem could possibly be. Well, except for Dan, who was more on the freaked out side of things because he was driving. Miraculously, it was not breaking the speed limit. We got pulled over because insurance had lapsed. We had a good laugh and were on our way again with a warning from an officer who was probably just trying to meet a monthly quota. Lame.

This little break from the plan meant that we would not be able to go to the movie, so we went straight to dinner. We went to The Pie, just west of the U of U campus. The food was delicious, and it was nice to relax, talk, and eat. After, we decided to stroll around Temple Square. We were not far from the Joseph Smith Memorial Building when Dan decided it would be a good idea to make a move for my hand. I remember being excited, though a little surprised... he seemed so shy! There might as well have been fireworks going off for the way we looked at each other and smiled. From this point on, we clicked in the most wonderful sort of ways. We stopped near the pool at the front of the temple and stood close. At that moment, I thought to myself, "wouldn't it be funny if we ended up getting married?" It was freezing, so the walk didn't last much longer than that. We drove home a bit later, and then hugged and said our good-nights and promised to do something again soon. Sweet and simple.

I walked into the house, got into bed, and thought, "holy crap, I've found him."

[RACHEL]

Holy smokes.

2011-09-17T17:32:00.000-06:00

I have been meaning to write for about a week now, but things have been crazy. Sinus infection crazy.

Happy birthday to me!

This year is the first year where I actually feel my age. 24. Weird. 24. I never really thought of myself in terms of a number... nor have I let the idea of being an adult woman cross my mind until lately. I've always just been me-- a carefree, young girl. A kid.

But now, in this stage of my life, I am happily married. I have a space to call home... one that has been thoughtfully decorated and put together. I have a car payment. I have a full-time job. Life has changed almost without me noticing. The responsibility just fits. Happy and satisfied are two words I would use to say how I feel about all this. It just fits.

The birthday celebration lasted about a week and started with delicious cake and conversation with friends. My students were very happy about my birthday and I was serenaded a few times by youthful, enthusiastic voices. Dan got me an iPod and took me out to La Dolce Vita in Provo, where I had the best pizza of my life-- chicken pesto. My brother came into town and he, my sister, Dan, and I went to the Cannon center where we ate way too much food and had a Jello slurping contest-- the hilarity was off the charts (OK, maybe I'm not all the way grown-up yet). My sister took me out for frozen yogurt... I think I put more boba than yogurt in my self-serve bowl. My mom surprised me with a visit as well, and did a really good job of hiding a Kitchen Aid Mixer in my tiny apartment for 2 weeks without me noticing it was there (amazing since I notice/see EVERYTHING. I think I grew a set of eyes in the back of my head when I became a middle school teacher). My mother-in-law got me the most amazing jacket ever, she really has an eye for finding things that work perfectly for me. Aaaaand, my sister-in-law and name twin (not for long!) Rachel came by with the most delectable piece of chocolate cake I have eaten in quite some time.

It was a very happy birthday with lots of awesome family and friends and food and fun.

Can I have one again tomorrow?

Before signing off, I do have to say that having a Kitchen Aid in my possession marks my initiation into the Real Woman Club.

[RACHEL]

A new year.

2011-09-05T09:46:00.001-06:00

It's back to work for me...

I really got used to being a stay at home... wife... over the summer. I would have days set aside for mopping, vacuuming, laundry, sewing, cooking elaborate meals, and once in a while, a day just for pampering myself. I was perfectly happy, and didn't mind one bit if I had spent a whole day vacuuming the fuzz that collects around the baseboards. Something must be wrong with me!!

It was weird to start commuting again. I forgot how long the drive to West Jordan from Provo is, especially with the construction. On the way there, it's an hour, give or take 5 minutes. One the way back, I have never made it home in less than an hour and twenty minutes :( The traffic is insane, even when there aren't accidents... which seldom occurs. I am also not used to driving anywhere at 6:20. That is EARLY.

There are so many things to get used to again, like a house that doesn't get a big clean-up until the weekend... and having a job again... but I think this is a good thing.

This year of teaching has started out significantly less terrible. I have heard from multiple sources that the first year of teaching is the worst... but, try coming in halfway through the year and taking over for a teacher that has laid out little expectation and had zero management... and on top of that, you're told after being hired that the class full of ninth grade miscreants has a secret curriculum that you aren't allowed to even think about until you've been trained... NEXT SUMMER. Craps. I was in the staff room one day and one of the teachers said that if last year was their first year, they probably would never come back. Those 9th graders were trouble, they said. I think they had no idea. I am back, nevertheless!

It was nice coming in at the beginning of the year. I got to decorate my classroom, make posters, make copies early, and plan about 12 weeks ahead. All things I never had the luxury of doing before. The students this year are great! I am already someone's favorite teacher :) The 7th graders are still learning how to be Junior High students, but they are so excited to learn. The class of 8th and 9th graders has many of my students from last year, and they are happy to be there. They are not miscreants. I also have access to this secret curriculum. This year is so much better already. Let's hope it stays that way!!

[RACHEL]

Back East.

2011-08-15T16:30:00.001-06:00

Where the sun doesn't sink into the ocean.

I still think that's weird, by the way... beautifully confusing. Talk about throwing off a (usually) foolproof internal compass! It also doesn't help that there are trees in all directions. I can successfully navigate myself to Memories Ice Cream... and the library. Maybe that's all I need for a good vacation :)

We had just finished spontaneously moving down the street (no small feat!), and I had just finished an elephantine 9-day training conference that can only be compared to Dante's 9 circles of Hell/suffering. A good vacation was exactly what I needed, and that's what I got! We spent a few days catching our breaths-- sleeping late, enjoying the garden, and having lazy mornings in the Adirondack chairs on the porch. We spent an afternoon in Newburyport, MA, where we ate some tasty fudge, walked around the docks a bit, had a lovely dinner, and most importantly, I had the best gelato of my life!

This is one of my favorite pictures I've ever been in.

Those are my boats in the background.

After a little stretch of moseying around, we took a trip to Lake Ossipee. Guess what we did? Yep, you guessed it! Relaxed. For the first time in ages, I sat down and read a book for my own pleasure. I read The Help, at the reccomendation of Julie, and I loved it! We did a bit of sailing, roasted marshmallows with sticks we found in the wilderness and had s'mores (complete with beach sand!), and played lots of games around the table. One thing I like about Ossipee is that it isn't full of slime and bushes like other lakes I've visited.

Morning on the lake.

We surprised Becca by bringing her out from Provo!

The Sunfish!

To top it all off, we headed out to New York City, for no other reason than I haven't been there before... what wonderful hosts my in-laws are! We stayed in a little brownstone on 95th street, right next to Central Park. It was fun walking around the city, eating AMAZING sorbet, having the pizza of a lifetime (well, almost... I'll save the best of the best for another post later), taking the bus tour and being unabashedly touristy with my camera, and taking in all the awesome architecture. It was such a great opportunity to get to know the family better. I loved it!

Turtle Pond, Central Park

A traffic light for bikes.

I am curious about this cuisine.

Empire State

Statue.

Some other things that I loved dearly about this vacation, but do not have photos of:

Eating an AMAZING lobster roll
Going to the Lindt Factory Outlet, then trying to shove a million pounds of chocolate into my carry-on
Strolling around the coast in Ogunquit, ME. (Cutest houses I've ever seen)
Hiking in the Town Forests in Exeter... and getting eaten alive by giant mosquitoes. On a side note, I have never seen so many mushrooms in my life.

It was an amazing vacation... From what it sounds like, I ate a lot. It's true, I did! It's been weird getting back into the swing of things, especially with school starting up so soon! A little piece of my heart got left behind, with all the trees and cute Cape Cod and Colonial houses. One day, I'll have myself a New England Fall.... and a white Christmas.

[RACHEL]

PS. A special thanks goes out to my dear mother-in-law Julie, for taking the New Hampshire photos :)

A list.

2011-08-09T10:26:00.000-06:00

Sometimes, when I can't sleep, I stare at the ceiling and make lists-- groceries, to do, unit plans, and other mundane things... this one sort of breaks the mold. It also got me thinking way too much and I stayed awake much longer than if I was deciding what to cook for dinner next week.

Things I have learned in my life, so far:

Learning from experiences is so much better (and so much harder) than regretting mistakes.
The best plan for life is to plan to be surprised.
Don't get a haircut at the barber shop. It is not worth the saved money.
I once wrote down a nice phrase from a hymn and stuck it up next to my bed. "I believe in Christ, so come what may." Little did I know that the come what may would be one of the most difficult and trying times of my life (so far). I had to learn to hold on tight to Christ during that come what may. Eventually, I was humbled and allowed myself to see His true perspective. It really helped me to see what I needed from it. It came, all in good time. At the right time (which for me was about a year and a half later).
Loosen up, don't look at life through the eyes of a perfectionist/graphic designer all the time... unless designing something.
Don't light up a covered gas grill that has been out for an undetermined amount of time. Doing so will result in an explosion and loss of arm hair, though it will be entertaining for all witnesses.
Taking the dogs to McDonalds to get cheeseburgers will make them think it is OK to sneak into the car if you accidentally leave the windows open when it's parked in the garage.
Maybe wearing sandals all the time wasn't such a good idea. Maybe that's still what I do.
Tricking your little brother into chewing a calcium pill is mean. Chewing one yourself because you felt guilty is stupid. But it makes everyone feel a little better.
It is hard to go a year without ice cream or red meat. It's also a total pain to get used to eating things like that again... if ya know what I mean...

What have you learned?

[RACHEL]

PS. be prepared for an inundation of photos and experiences as I will soon chronicle my trip to the East Coast!

The other coast

2011-07-17T15:31:00.005-06:00

has been on my mind....

one more day until sailboats, lobster rolls, trees, and family <3

[RACHEL]

A series of shenanigans

2011-07-09T14:38:00.004-06:00

Shenanigan number one. A day or two after my date was interrupted, I decided that I needed to throw a pizza party with the hopes that our mutual friend, Mike, would bring Dan along. It also meant that Mike would bring a whole host of strangers along with, but I decided that a pizza party with a room full of strangers would probably be worth it. None of my roommates were able to make it, so I just decided to be brave and go on. Previous experience had proven that my pizza parties were pretty magical, so I was really counting on a good time regardless.

So, the guests started trickling in, and I started making pizza. I was nervous and excited all at once. Mike had arrived, but Dan was nowhere in sight. The other Dan I met that night, ironically, was present. Just as the pizzas started going in the oven, Mike informed me that Dan might not come. He was driving back from Salt Lake. At this point, a pizza party with strangers was starting to sound unappealing and even a little scary. Mike, being the champion that he is, decided that a little convincing was in order. Mike worked his magic, and sure enough Dan made it to the party in time to enjoy a slice or two, and I started to relax and have a good time. From there, the shenanigans ceased and interactions became beautifully organic, albeit timid-- stolen glances from across the room... a smile here and there.... it was good.

We played games, chatted a bit, and a good time was had by all. The night drew to a close and I considered the party to be a success, a toe in the door. I was excited, and I couldn't stop thinking about him. What I didn't know was that after that night, Dan couldn't get me off of his mind, either. A couple days later, he decided to ask me out.

Mike gave me a heads up that Dan might visit me at the library while I was working. And that he might ask me out. He also told me that he thwarted another pizza party guest's plans to ask me out. I made sure that I looked extra good for Dan's visit. I worked the night shift on Wednesdays-- 6pm to Midnight. Essentially, prime time for guys to pick up on a girl trapped behind the only open reference desk at the library. I can't tell you how many times I said NO from behind that desk in the time I worked there. I was excited for the chance to say yes! So, I waited... and it felt like forever.

Finally, he came around. I had front row seats to whoever came in to the library, so I saw him instantly. I could not hide my excitement, and got a little flustered when I sensed the light of a thousand suns coming from my eyes and smile. He asked me if I would like to go on a double date to Salt Lake City that following Saturday, and of course, I accepted. We chatted a little, he asked for my number, and then he was on his way. My shift finally ended at midnight, and Mike came to walk me home so I wouldn't become another Provo rape statistic... but mostly because he wanted to hear how everything went with Dan.

Shenanigan number two. I hadn't been in my apartment for long when I got a text from Mike saying that Dan was going to pick him up from my place and to come outside so we could all hang out for a bit. I ran out, and there he was. Mike had the idea that we should all hang out in the car and chat. I thought it sounded awful strange, but I went along with it. Mike opened the front door for me and I got in and started talking to Dan. Mike stood outside for a while, and then I turned to look outside a little later and he was gone. We shrugged our shoulders and talked for a good hour and really got to know each other. I was a little worried that we might run out of things to talk about on our date, but nether of us wanted to stop. Finally, we decided that it was getting sort of late, so Dan walked me to my door, we had one of those funny side-hugs, and said good night. I was on cloud nine and my heart was ready to explode! This guy is a nice guy! I think he has a crush on me! Yes! And then I tried to sleep a little bit, but mostly I was just excited.

And that's how I got a little bit closer to falling in love...

[RACHEL]

Vacation.

2011-06-29T12:15:00.002-06:00

I am proud of myself for actually taking pictures for once! We just got back from a wonderful vacation to California to visit my family. The weather was perfect, which made coming back home to the 90s slightly unsavory.

We started off with a trip to Palm Springs. I think I might have been a little spoiled by the gorgeous condo we stayed in because my apartment just isn't cutting it anymore! It was really hot there, but I don't think I noticed that too much... I was too busy with this:

I guess that picture isn't really mine... but from here on out, the rest are. It was a lovely time in the desert for us, and even though we forgot about the 12-pack of soda in the back of our car and it blew up because it was so hot in there, we had a blast swimming, relaxing, and spending time with the whole family. I think my favorite part (besides the swimming and porch BBQs) was taking walks in the evening once it had cooled off about 20 degrees or so. It is gorgeous out there! Hats off to my mom who had such an awesome idea in the first place!

We went back to Escondido to spend some time at home after that. Here are a few highlights:

Padre's game with the family! Fun to be there, I think I ate a whole bag of cherries. The best part about eating cherries at the stadium is being able to leave the pits on the ground. Just as it is with every Padres game I go to, the score was nothing spectacular... but the company was great (and so was trying to find a parking spot in downtown San Diego on a Friday night)! We also had some great pizza at a place called Landini's in Little Italy. I think if I ever went to Italy I would get fat from eating too much.

Taking the dogs to McDonalds. Rubi and Encino love treats, and they also love the car (they sneak into it whenever they can). What's better than 2 happy dogs and 3 people stuffed into a little car? Absolutely nothing. Those little cheeseburgers are a guilty pleasure of mine once or twice a year, and I think the dogs enjoyed them as well :)

This little girl. Need I say more? We love our niece!

Bates Nut Farm! The candy barrels were awesome as usual, and so were the animals. I got bit by a goose and a sheep stole my bag of corn. Never a dull moment.

And, I got to visit Ronald. He wins the prize for most handsome cat.

It was great to be at home with all the family.

And, that was my vacation, with pictures. Thank you for scrolling.

[RACHEL]

Two years ago today

2011-06-25T23:25:00.001-06:00

Michael Jackson died.

And, I got engaged to Dan.

When you make a phone call home that starts with "GUESS WHAT!?!??!" your friends might guess wrong and say "Michael Jackson died" instead of "You got engaged???"

It's not like they didn't see it coming...

Those were magical times, frolicking in the mountains and on the beach in New Hampshire with my Handsome Man. Perhaps a story later, it's bedtime :)

[RACHEL]

The date crasher.

2011-06-12T15:19:00.004-06:00

A little piece of the love story...

Once upon a time, not long after I made those fajitas, I decided that I was quitting jerks. I declared it boldly and it was received with chuckles and pity pats on the shoulder. Fall 2008 proved to be quite the semester and I was tired. I wanted a fresh start in the new year. I walked into that semester confused and lost after a fairy tale didn't quite end in happily ever after. After that, things kind of got sour. Provo's Jerky Guy Block was a block I'd been around way too many times. It was like a bad rollercoaster and I didn't know how to get off. That's not to say that every guy I went out with was a jerk. There were sweet, great people peppered into the mix... for one reason or another we just didn't work. That's life's funny way of teaching you what you need for the big win. Anyway, amusement and disbelief motivated me to just decide to quit dating altogether. It seemed like a better idea, anyway. That way I was less likely to lose at my own goal.

A few days into Winter semester 2009 I came to the realization that maybe quitting dating was a little bit boring, so I decided to accept invitations from nice guys I already knew. One was from a guy from the ward. A guy who used to be a good friend of mine but decided to cut me off from his existence when I went out with Fajita Guy. Unbeknownst to me, he happened to have a very large crush on me for a very long time. Sometimes guys can be such drama queens! Anyway, he said he was ready to be my friend again and wanted to know if I would go on a "friends" date with him. I said yes, and that's where things started to get interesting.

It was January 16th. I remember this because it's my brother's birthday. I was on a birdwatching trip with my biology class. It was cold out, but the sun was golden and glorious. I was happy with life and its simplicity. My phone rang. It was my date, wanting to know if I was still able to go out. I started to wonder if this really was a friends date...

After my birding excursion, I got all ready to go and we first went to a party and then ice cream. After, we headed to my place to watch a movie. We didn't have a TV so we moved the couch up to my computer and just as I got the DVD queued up, there was a knock on the door. I opened the door and there were three guys standing there happy to visit me. I only knew one of them. The one I knew said "Hi, you busy? This is Dan. And another guy named Dan." They had a clear view of the couch and computer and the guy. I felt awkward. They felt awkward. I mumbled something lame like "I'm kind of busy right now..." and they decided to leave.

That's what my date saw... I saw something different. When I opened the door, there were 3 guys. One I knew, two I didn't that were both named Dan. There was one of those Dans that caught my eye. He was blonde, good looking, and his smile and eyes gave me a very stirring vibe. It's almost like they were saying "I am a good person... I am not a jerk. You need to get to know me."

So, I got back to the movie, but I wasn't thinking about my date, or the movie. I was wondering how I could get to know this Dan better. I'd only been around him for a few seconds but I knew that I would regret it if that's all I got.

And that's the story of how my second to last first date went down... and got crashed... and how I first met Dan.

[RACHEL]

Food.

2011-06-09T16:40:00.001-06:00

Every now and then food and I will get a funny thing going on... it's a great catalyst when it comes to personal interactions.

The first instance I can remember was when I was a sophomore at BYU. I was new in the ward and had a knack for attracting the older guys pursuing masters programs. This led to many awkward situations (Wait... you're barely 19???), but out of all the times, there was one where I found a really great friend who didn't care that I hadn't turned 19 yet. We had a lot of fun cooking together... and his roommates had a lot of fun making fun of him. Nevermind that he screamed like a girl and they caught it on tape, or that I beat him in a pull up competition. We were friends and it was cool. Anyway, the last time we ever spoke he had invited me over before a ward party to make dessert with him. Pumpkin roll. It was so heavenly and delicious. We ended up sharing it with the ward and there was this one girl who was really loving our dessert. Not missing a beat I moved away and my pal seized the opportunity to strike up a conversation. It's what friends do, right? Even now, knowing I would never get to talk to him again, I would have done the same thing. You see, after he and this girl struck up a conversation, they both fell off the face of the earth and re-appeared several months later eternally married. It was a good dessert.

Fast forward two years. I was dating a guy that for various reasons wasn't quite up to par. After a couple of weeks I sent him packing. Right before his birthday. I had promised him a birthday dinner before I had seen the light, so I asked him if he still wanted to come over. He had cleared his calendar for it after all. SO. I made him fajitas. Fajitas that have been said by tasters to eclipse the goodness of... wonderful things. I'll let you use your imagination to fill in that blank. Anyway, he came over and enjoyed very much his last meal. At the end, he looked over at me and with a sly look on his face said, "You're trying to seduce me with this food, you want me back." If I didn't see it before, I really saw it then. That guy was totally full of himself. And my food. I showed him the door and pretended like I didn't notice he wanted a kiss.

I'm glad I don't have any stories like that last one anymore... life's taken on a more simple and beautiful flavor. Now, it's more centered around teamwork and fun with Dan in the kitchen (he really is amazing in there!), making memories with friends, or enjoying a special treat now and then (think cheesecake with graham and ganache crust and cherry glaze). Like I said, it's a great catalyst.

[RACHEL]

Just a little video...

2011-06-03T12:11:00.001-06:00

that I am in love with... it makes me want to go to Mexico and take a relaxing boat ride in the sun...

Watching this sweetens the hours spent at work counting hammers, planes, and files.

INVENTORY. BAH.

The students are gone and this place is scary quiet and scary clean.
The work ain't over yet, though...
3 claw hammers
2 ball peen hammers
1 tack hammer
1 carpenter's mallet

Why are there so many kinds of hammer in my shop? I hope there aren't any more hidden somewhere.

[RACHEL]

3 days.

2011-05-29T13:12:00.000-06:00

Until school is over! I don't know if it's my students or me that's more excited.... but let's just say that I am in need of some good rest and relaxation!

One of the biggest challenges of being a middle school teacher is seeing students who truly believe that they are so far gone at the young age of 12-14, that trying isn't even worth it. It breaks my heart. I don't understand it. I also am not sure how to help. I think I need a little vacation from that. Come Fall, I will be ready to take on the challenge again, hopefully with some new ideas at the ready. And, did I mention that I am secretly excited about another year at the school? Shh, it's still a secret.

It has been a while since I last wrote... busy doesn't even begin to cover it! For brevity's sake (and because my camera's memory card accidentally traveled to New Hampshire) here's a bulleted list of my latest adventures!

I graduated (I guess, technically, I walked...) and both sets of family were here to celebrate! It was the greatest!
As a result, Family Just Dance 2 party. We can and will out-dance you.
I almost got lit on fire by a stoner and almost got into a fist fight.... at the most AMAZING CONCERT EVER!!!!!
We got a new car... a charcoal gray Prius. Leather seats, backup camera, premium sound system, 51 MPG, I can handle that.
We decided that it would be fun to switch the study and the bedroom about 3 weeks ago and are still jumping over piles of stuff that should be put away by now.
I redid all the pillows in the living room and made some new ones-- Martha Stewart, move over!
Dan is still being awesome at BYU OIT's Desktop Distribution.
As of this weekend, I am no longer behind on my grading. YES!

Me and my very large little brother at graduation. This kid is awesome :) Thanks for the picture, Dad.

I may or may not elaborate on these events at a later time.

All the pieces are falling into place in the most beautiful of ways. Clarity is a wonderful thing. All in God's time...

[RACHEL]

In reflection.

2011-05-04T12:57:00.000-06:00

To say that the past 6 months have been easy would be a lie. Knowing that I chose some of the trials I am trying to endure makes it all the more frustrating. Knowing that I did not choose some of the trials I am trying to endure makes it all the more humbling.

This morning on the commute, I passed by a five-car accident that was so fresh that the victims were the ones directing traffic. It was so recent that the delay was two minutes instead of the usual 30-40 minutes. The images of sadness, pain, and suffering have not yet left me. Corporate men, a family with small children, a couple. People who were just on their way out, just like every other day. In the middle of all this, they were also helping each other out. Checking each other's wounds. Brushing hair out of distraught faces. Not pointing fingers, not yelling, not cursing. In the midst of their trials, they still remembered that they are their brother's keeper.

Does this make me a bad person for floundering alone in my weakness?

A bishop I had a long time ago once asked me what I think about when I am not talking. I tend to be more of a listener/thinker. I was completely caught off guard by this question and had no idea how to answer. My quiet thinking time has gone into overdrive lately, taking in the present and wondering how it translates into the future. Careers, further education, family. Am I doing what I really want with my time and talents? Why do I worry so much about this 9-5 (haha I wish) commitment of mine? What is it about public education that makes it so wacky sometimes? Occasionally my mind will wander to a cute little colonial or craftsman home with land and dogs and muddy, happy Staves children. When are we going to get there? The suspense is killing me!

I think I get too caught up in the details of arriving at my future that I forget to find joy in today. I let myself think that it is too hard to find peace when really I haven't even started trying to look yet.

Graduating put me into a frenzied quarter-life crisis these past 6 months. I've got my car, I've got my handsome man, and now it's time to focus on today and now.

[RACHEL]

Overheard.

2011-04-13T07:43:00.001-06:00

Me: You'll be fine with this project, you guys have brilliant minds.
Student: Yeah, if I had a brilliant mind, I'd be dead by now... like Arthur Einstein. He died in like the 70s.

Oh, middle school...

[RACHEL]

Human nature.

2011-03-27T16:03:00.001-06:00

What is it about human nature that has us fascinated with things that are simultaneously curious, awesome, and freaky?

All I know is that I am absolutely petrified of sea creatures, and yet, I am dying to read this book:

I was the kind of kid who was freaked out about eating Cheerios for months after watching a show on PBS about moon jellyfish... I guess those circle things kind of look like Cheerios, don't they? In my defense, I was five years old.

I could not tear my eyes from the TV. I just couldn't. And then I ruined Cheerios for myself... which is odd because I can browse science books on mushrooms and fungi with that same squeamish freakout feeling, to the point that even just touching the picture makes me uneasy... but I still eat mushrooms.

I have to be the only person in the world with their insides crawling right now. This post is like all my worst nightmares happening at once. Actually, it would be worse if I were trapped in a broken elevator with all of these things.

[RACHEL]

antsy.

2011-03-22T21:25:00.000-06:00

The beginning of spring makes me so antsy. It always has. Probably because the sun has finally started to come out here and there... but it's not quite warm enough to go out and enjoy it. I've always been best at self-reflection when I'm outside doing something, like running myself sick. Lately, there's been so much to think about and I've been stuck inside with my distractions. So, all my thoughts, passions, fears, frustrations, and dreams all just tangle up into knots. Too much.

I find myself in the thick of a quarter-life crisis. Like I have to buy a new car or paint my whole apartment or get a dog just to appease the gnawing feeling inside (none of these things is a sensible solution here). Who am I? Who do I need to become? What do I really want? I can tell you one thing, it's not a 100 mile-a-day commute. Probably should have thought that one through a little better. It's like I woke up one day and thought, "Is this job what I imagined for myself?" I think I am still figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.

On the plus side, it will be prime picnic weather in about 2-3 weeks... YES! Picnics are the best date ever, probably because Dan wooed me with his picnic skills and now I can't get enough of them. Or him :)

And, I am also nearing graduation ceremonies. Maybe after that this whole graduated thing will feel a little more real?

And, I am about to cross another concert off of my dream list... ARCADE FIRE! YES!

[RACHEL]

Blood, sweat, tears, and triumph.

2011-02-20T16:38:00.001-07:00

It's been a long and awesome road.

Looking back on my undergrad years, I have memory upon memory of wild times. Wild times that have nothing to with my dating life at the time-- that's a novel for another time, like never. All the adventures I had in the Snell Building with the Tech Ed crowd before more than 30 people knew that the major even existed. Back when it was me, Amanda, Becky, Ashley, and the guys. Back when eating a Jose Ole Beef and Cheese Chimichanga was a rite of passage (because it meant that you hadn't been home from the Snell for 12 hours or more and you were absolutely desperate for food). Being in a class that had only 2 girls seems like an awkward thing, but it was anything but. Those were some of the funnest classes I had at school. We all learned so much from each other.

My major was fun, but it challenged me in ways I never imagined. Staying up all night working on graphic design because of sudden inspiration received while getting ready for bed and then going to metal shop the next day exhausted and trying to find the energy to stand and weld for two hours was hard. Leaving class covered in metal shavings (so itchy when they get stuck in your jeans) and machine grease and not having the time to clean up before religion class was not ideal. Getting a blind spot in my left eye when someone accidentally dropped a welder was also not ideal, but it makes for a great story. I could go on, like with the time that my welding jacket wasn't closed all the way and I got a burn on my chest from the arc's light. It was like the worst sunburn ever and it looked awful, imagine having a triangle patch of skin that is the only part of your body with a tan in the middle of pasty, cold February. So awesome.

Woodshop was probably the hardest class I had. As a graphic designer, I was in no way accustomed to working off of a plan, or thinking in wood. That class made me swear. I resented the sawdust. I resented not being a natural. I was too small to use many of the machines comfortably, but I had friends who helped me through. All the guys in that class were champions, they did a good job of taking care of me. That class was work. I suffered injuries in many of my other classes, but that was the only class that made me bleed. That was the only class that frustrated me enough that crying was the only thing left to do. I was such a girl. I finally pulled myself through, and I have a gorgeous quarter-sawn white oak table in the Craftsman style to prove it :)

The best thing about the major I chose was the ability to further develop my passion and knowledge of multimedia, especially graphic design. It was good. It further fueled my love for print communications. I made so many awesome things. Making movies well after midnight so that we could have the proper effect, making fake blood, screaming so loud the police came... and just having fun with the guys. They were like my brothers. I learned and I taught. I fell in love with Adobe Illustrator. All this was made better by the things I hand't planned on learning, and how I grew through pushing myself.

[RACHEL]

listen. love.

2011-02-17T12:52:00.004-07:00

The best live show I've ever seen in Provo was Fictionist, hands down. These guys rock my sandals, because I almost never wear socks. Or shoes. Right now, they have been selected to compete to see who of 16 unsigned bands gets on to the cover of Rolling Stone. Listen, love, and rate. In that order. Please.

Read more about how I love these guys here. It was a concert that changed my life! They performed a cover of Pink Floyd's Us and Them that made me get a crush on all five of those guys at once, which was OK because this concert happened a week before I met my husband. Naturally after that life-changing event, my crush switched to him ;)

Listen and vote below!

[RACHEL]

grandma and me.

2011-02-14T09:43:00.001-07:00

Cut from the same stone-- that's what I like to think when I think of Grandma and myself. In the summertime, we would sit together in Relief Society and on especially slow days at church when the AC just wouldn't work and the RS room was like a perfume oven, we'd both sit back and one of us would without fail say, "at least there's chocolate."

We were made for sunny days, she and I both. Whenever I visited in the winter, sometimes stopping by all by myself, our conversations would always turn to anxiously anticipating the springtime or being so happy for the 70 degrees and sunshine that was on its way tomorrow. Other times, I would visit and take a peek at her painting and sewing room, one day hoping I would have a collection of colors and machines as fun as hers.

She knew her way around the kitchen. Sometimes, I would watch her cook just to get ideas for when I headed back to school and had to cook for myself. Her chicken and noodles were phenomenal. One day, I'll finally make them taste just as good as hers. She taught me how to make her Won Tons, and every year for the past almost ten years, we've gotten together the girls and made them for Christmas dinner. And, I can't forget her lemon meringue pie... or her pot roast... or her candy. She was good.

I loved listening to my grandma speak. She had so many memories, and once she was all warmed up there was so much to listen to. Sometimes, it was about her school experiences. Other times, it was about her childhood. Most recently, it was her travels. She went to so many different places, and had a little something to say about each, never forgetting to mention how blessed we were to live in America. Travel opened her eyes. On occasion, I would call her up when giving a talk or doing a project at school. I interviewed her once when gathering information for a report on nurturing the family and I'll never forget what she said-- "I was soft spoken, but never a pushover." What I would give to be so quietly strong!

Alongside my Grandpa, she raised an impressive family. Close-knit, close to God. Their marriage is one of the sweetest I have ever seen. I always knew they loved each other. I loved how they would call each other sweetie. She and I were once eating potato chips and she asked if I would see if Sweetie (Grandpa) wanted some. It warms my heart as I start out in my own marriage to see the sweetness of eternal love through time. What a great example they set for their children and grandchildren.

Grandma had nine kids. She was a busy woman. And for all she endured, she looked fabulous. She once cleaned out her closet and wanted to give me a gorgeous black pencil skirt she wore after all her children and well past. I could not button it up. I was indeed impressed. She was a beautiful woman. She was also beautiful inside, with her love, talents, patience, and spirit. I aspire to be like her.

The last time I was with her was over Christmas break. She had just gotten Mamma Mia! as a gift and she had Grandpa put it in so she could show us the sing-along version. She loved Abba. So, we had a bit of a sing along until the men had a cow and we turned it off. I had so much fun that night. As the night wound down, we turned to conversation where I learned something that made me laugh a bit. Grandma and I both get heartburn from hot chocolate. Yes, we are both cut from the same stone.

Cancer took her swiftly from this earth, yet she remains close in my heart. May she have endless sunny days with our Heavenly Father.

[RACHEL]

We celebrated our love...

2011-01-26T17:38:00.000-07:00

with Burger Lounge, Legoland, and the beach. No finer way :)

Dan and I have been married a year. A glorious year (plus one month more!). December 29th, 2009 was the day that I made the best decision of my life! A year later, I love him more than I ever knew possible. The awesome thing is, it grows and grows every day. I am one lucky girl!

Here are some pictures from our adventures:

Unforgettable.

Dan and George Washington

La Jolla

Life as usual these days has been a little less than usual and a little more like crazy. Taking on a teaching job in the middle of the year is no small feat. Today is one of those blessed days where I can actually catch my breath after school and drive home without a headache. Let's just say that I'm learning fast how to jump through flaming hoops. I have a ways to go before I stop getting burned, though... At the end of the day, I have to remind myself that middleschoolers are... middleschoolers, and to carry on. Those kids are hilarious but they do test me. I look forward to the day that I have an established curriculum where I can pull something out of a file and go for it instead of pulling my hair out the night before over it. Someday.

In other news, we're finally out of nursery... and into a calling that gives me social interaction in the most unexpected way of all-- Sunday School teacher. It's team teaching with Dan, so hopefully it won't be too scary. It actually makes me really miss those 30 second Nursery lessons ;)

I will survive.

[RACHEL]

PS. If you ever find yourself in San Diego, don't let the idea of "upscale fast-food burgers" scare you. In fact, the only word I have for the eating experience is BEAUTIFUL. An unexpected word for a burger, if you ask me. Try it and love it! They are worth every penny and are sure to make you and the man in your life soooo happy!

Christmas

2010-12-29T13:31:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am. It's been a while... I was anticipating a few weeks of rest and relaxation (aka burnout recovery) when December hit, but alas, it was not so. The reason for this is... complicated. It all started with me taking a job in West Jordan, teaching middle school Tech (YAY! Benefits!) that would start up in January right after Christmas vacation. And then they surprised me by needing me immediately. I am tired. Every day. Even on vacation. But, I am so happy to have a job.

We left Utah and its 9 inches of snow in search of sunnier weather earlier this week. Christmas in California started out with zero visibility rainstorms complete with enormous amounts of flooding. We got stuck in Long Beach for the night because the rain was so bad. The Westin Hotel chain has this thing about everything being called Heavenly. The bed was indeed heavenly.

Aside from catching up on sleep and getting caught in the rain, we also saw our little niece for the first time. Her name is Maria Lucille and she is so tiny and cute.

Christmas was awesome, and it is so good to be with all the family. And, the food was awesome too. Pozole, mole, tamales, enchiladas... and of course, Grandma's won tons. Mario Kart tournaments, helicopter battles, and Hawaii 5-0 marathons (the old show, not the new one) have kept us pretty busy. It is good to be home.

It's back to pouring after days at the beach and warm sun... maybe it's time for some soup or the jacuzzi :)

[RACHEL]

PS. It's my first anniversary! It was a lovely first year :)

pictures to come... I'm working with sketchy 3g signals and internet service so it might be a while...

And it was foxy.

2010-11-14T20:27:00.001-07:00

The concert. It was so good...... A special thanks to my husband, for allowing me to indulge in my love of live music now and then. There is something lovely about being there. Getting sucked in to the music, the movement. Feeling the sound course through my body. Watching the performers exude passion and talent. This show was somewhere between mellow (Like when I went to see Sondre Lerche and everyone was sitting cross-legged on the floor) and energetic (when I went to see Fictionist and everyone was dancing their hearts out), probably because it was a seated show. Everyone wished they were dancing... it's weird to walk out of a concert with a sore backside rather than a sore everything from dancing.

Anyways, benches aside, the show was great. After the local openers finished up, these guys from NYC came out to play. Harper Blynn. Never heard of them before, but now I am so glad I know them now! They can sing. Heartmelting harmonies, I tell you. Their songs are fun, energetic, and genuine. And, they have great style, too. They were Greg Laswell's band for the night, and they added an extra buzz of energy to his lovely compositions. The house was packed, but even still, Greg's portion, especially when it was just him and the piano, was really awesome and intimate. It felt so good to be there. It was everything I ever dreamed of! I feel so fulfilled after finally seeing him live. It's something that I've wanted for about five years.

I'm lame and forgot my camera. But, there they are. Somewhere else.

And, before I go, Harper Blynn performed an awesome, though unexpected cover that I just can't keep to myself-

They had the place rockin...

[RACHEL]

Choices.

2010-11-07T19:01:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like my life is one of those books where you can turn to page suchandsuch to see how option A turns out, or page somethingorother to see about option B, or (heaven forbid) five or six other pages to see how options C, D, E, F, G, and H look. I've got all the pros and cons worked out... but taking that step forward is kind of a big deal. A thrilling big deal. So, I just stand there and mull over my options until I have to make a decision. I never associated this ordeal with graduation. I just thought about being done with school. HA. Oh, employment...

My house smells like lasagna, and the heater is on. It is so cozy. That makes me want to avoid thinking about lesson plans and jobs and just cuddle with my hubby and the furry blanket while we figure out what movie to watch and if we want hot chocolate or cookies or both. I love life.

And, next Friday Dan and I are going on a foxy date to SLC to hear/see this guy sing:

Greg Laswell. So good. Yes, I love life.

[RACHEL]

And now that I can check that off my list...

2010-10-31T21:16:00.001-06:00

I feel fabulous!

I did laundry! I made dinner! I thought about sewing some more curtains!

Phew.

I finished my 40 page analysis of student learning and my teaching. Let's be honest, it was the longest thing I've ever written. Besides the fact that it took forever and stole my life, it was somewhat enjoyable. It also made me feel like I could do this teacher thing.

Middle school is a constant, fickled on and off switch between 'love it' and 'help me please.' The seventh graders are awesome, but the 8th and 9th graders tend to get a kick out of exploiting weaknesses even I didn't know I had... though they love to learn and that does count for a lot :) They're just rascals because they have a hard time with the idea of me coming in the middle of the year to take over their classes. And they all want to be my best friend. I think I could be happy as a middle school teacher.

I still have a hard time stepping down to a whole different level of cognitive and emotional development. I still miss teaching at BYU. But, it's getting better.

[RACHEL]

en español, por favor.

2010-10-20T17:20:00.004-06:00

About once a month I'll have a dream that's totally in Spanish. With perfect grammar. And I don't know how or why this happens. I have a hard time understanding grammar in any language. This is why I did not pursue a Spanish minor (regrettably... I think I could have been just fine if I tried hard enough). I know perfect Spanish grammar when I hear or see it, but I can't use it to save my life. Before parent-teacher conferences at Kearns High school, the most I'd used my Spanish in recent years was on the honeymoon in Puerto Vallarta when I ordered us "Dos piña coladas sin alcohol, por favor...(bar tender starts mixing)...Señor, SIN alcohol!!" We always had to remind them that we didn't want to get all boozy. I'm lost on the idea that everyone in Mexico wants to be young (or look young in a very freakish and unnatural way), in love, and sloshed. I like it just fine with a blood alcohol level of zero. Interestingly, alcohol has been the only unwise invitation I've ever had to fight off with both fists. What is it with people?

I've got all I need... perfect beach, perfect man,
and a Miami Vice, sin alcohol.

This place was unforgettable!

and so was this sunset :)

Christmas is coming... I think I'll go to the beach again. Naturally, I associate Christmas with the beach. Who doesn't??

[RACHEL]

Digesting.

2010-10-17T20:10:00.003-06:00

Well, here I am. It's Sunday. It's rainy. The window is open just a little bit so I can hear the cars drive through the puddles near the side of the road. I love that sound. The air coming through is cold, but pleasantly so. I just got through an amazing dinner with family and friends. My husband and his friend are speaking in Physics in the next room and I am secretly listening and understanding. I am in love with this night. My mind and spirit have the clarity I have been begging for all day. It's all here, it's all OK.

Lately I've been juggling the multiple roles I am taking on in this busy chapter of my life...

I am a teacher. I have a responsibility to teach a couple hundred kids some of the (many) things I've busted my brains and my hands over for the past five (!) years at school. I have to manage a class full of energetic middle schoolers. I have to entertain them (easier said than done, mind you). I have to show them that what I know, what I am, is important. It's a big job that I try my best to approach in a loving, non-judgmental, and passionate way. Every day. Some days it works out better than others. Who's perfect?

I am still a student. I have to answer to all the folks at the Y. I have a large paper to write. I have meetings to go to. I am trying to reconcile the fact that I had to pay tuition to take on a thankless, compensation-free experience. It gets easier every day, though I just can't shake it. I need to remind myself that I am learning, a gift without price.

I am a wife. Sometimes, though I hate to admit it, I get sick of doing laundry and cooking. There, I said it. Time an energy are in short supply more than ever these days, it seems. I am so blessed to have my husband by my side, cheering me up as I fight through my weaknesses. I am the luckiest girl alive to have the unconditional and constant love of that man!

President Monson gave an amazing talk on gratitude this Conference. It was a big kick in the face for me. He said:

...Do we remember to give thanks for the blessings we receive? Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God’s love... When we encounter challenges and problems in our lives, it is often difficult for us to focus on our blessings. However, if we reach deep enough and look hard enough, we will be able to feel and recognize just how much we have been given.

Do I remember? Should I remember more? I have been blessed with so much. Receiving education. Giving education. A home. Food to cook and eat. Clothes to wash and wear. A (little) happy family with an AWESOME husband. I am rich in my blessings. God loves me. This must be my focus.

[RACHEL]

It was very dark.

2010-10-09T20:49:00.000-06:00

It sank.

I finally did it! I made a zucchini boat! It was fun to make, and it looked so cute :) But, when I put it in the water the weight distribution was slightly off. It slowly rolled upside down and then started cruising like a submarine. Pretty awesome, huh? Being a lover of the earth and the residents of the stream, the ducks, I took off the sail and just let it go. Shortly thereafter, it was lost... because it was too dark to keep track of it. A bit down the stream, one of our friends miraculously sighted it, so I picked it out of the water. As sad as this sounds, my sea voyage was the most successful of the bunch. Dan's Cheerio-box boat got waterlogged and sank to the bottom seconds after setting it loose. Our other friends made boats that got beached on the rocks, out of Jamba Juice cups and straws. If I let mine, it would have floated all the way to the end... We are determined to make this work, even if it means waiting until next April!

Today Dan insisted that we turn on the heater. I guess that means that winter is not far off. Depressing and exciting at the same time...

And, a little update since I started writing this... Dan went to his first BYU football game! Even more exciting is this bit of news: WE ACTUALLY WON!!!!! GOOOOOOO COUGARS!

We got the tickets from Dan's boss, so we were comfortably seated in the non-student zone. This was nice because we were not packed in like sardines so much... and, everyone sat through the whole game. It's nice to use those benches, guys. Watching football without getting sore feet is awesome!

And, one last comment before I say goodnight. I am relieved to know that it wasn't just my students that had listening problems. I helped out in the wood shop on my last day at Kearns, and heard the teacher instruct the students on how to use the table saw quite a few times. Then, I watched each student use it, telling them what to do before they got started, and as they worked. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM put their arms/hands/faces at risk of permanent damage. AHH! I had a heart attack! The worst one was this one kid who received all the same instruction... only he REALLY wasn't listening. He didn't push the wood past the blade and it kicked back and hit him square in the stomach. I have never seen that happen before. And then after that, he reached right across the blade. I hope he learned something from that experience! Goodness gracious. Wood shop teaching is so stressful. Count me out!

[RACHEL]

Moving on.

2010-10-07T16:51:00.000-06:00

Well, it is now pouring rain, and has been for a few days. I am beginning to doubt that there will ever be a lovely day for outdoor activities until the spring.

Tomorrow is my last day at Kearns. My last day of waking up at 5am. That part sounds really nice :) I think, despite the indifference that is rotting through them like some awful kind of fungus, those kids aren't too bad. I just wish they would let themselves learn.... and maybe that they would realize that the school wasn't built for them to have a bunch of rooms with chairs and computers where they can sit and talk with their friends. But, those ones who have the aforementioned issues all figured out are the students that make it worth it.

I've been thinking about my future, my career in particular, and I am excited. Teaching is fun. I've got a little taste of what dealing with punks is like, and now that I've gotten more used to it, I don't feel quite as urgent about running away from public secondary schooling to get advanced degrees and hide from all those issues. Sure, I'd like to someday... being a professor would be awesome. But I recognize the greater potential to make a difference in students who haven't left home yet. They haven't yet taken on the attitude that they don't need anybody to get to the top.

Oh, and two quotes that make me laugh to even think about:
"You're like the only girl I've ever met that knows about computers..."
(trying to be cool) "I was playing with an iPad and it was like trippy S***!!!!"

Steve Jobs... You were wrong, the iPad isn't magical.

[RACHEL]

October and boats.

2010-09-30T22:27:00.000-06:00

This isn't about making cookies, it's still way too hot for that.

Today I got the whiteboard all set up at school for tomorrow before I went home. Part of it involved writing the date, and realizing that there is no such thing as September 31st. For some reason, that was a really exciting realization. Maybe because it means Fall weather is coming... or that it's finally time for General Conference again... or that I get to carve a pumpkin soon... Yay! Whatever it was that got me so excited for October, it got me thinking that time is moving really fast. I now have a very urgent need to enjoy every last minute outside that I can before it starts dumping snow. One thing on my list has to do with zucchini... my favorite summer vegetable. Besides eating them every chance I get before they completely disappear, I want to do this:

Well, maybe not ride in a zucchini boat... but, carve little boats out of the vegetables and float them down the stream near Heritage Halls where so many people love to take their engagement photos. Zucchini Regatta, anyone?? I just think that sounds like fun. I must do this before the pond freezes over.

Moving on to a dream that was not so recently fulfilled (happened more than a month ago), I finally chopped all my hair off.

Before

After

Feels so good.

We're both working on having lives again so that we can take pictures of awesome things we do, because pictures of writing lesson plans (me), and doing homework (Dan) just aren't that interesting... are they?

[RACHEL]

Well here's that other thing...

2010-09-29T16:58:00.001-06:00

So, I am pleased to say that teaching has become somewhat of a quest for me, politically and intellectually. I am the students' advocate. I am mad about NCLB, the ardent focus of teaching for the test booklet, and Jeb Bush slamming down efforts to decrease class sizes, claiming that it doesn't help student achievement. Tell me, Jeb, how on earth am I supposed to effectively teach 45 kids while only equipped with 33 computers because of tanking resource budgets, while helping out the learning-disabled students with IEPs, catering to individual learning styles, accommodating English Language Learners, helping people who have never used a computer before because they've never have one at home, all while cramming in all 90 billion mandated standards for that bubble sheet test?* How does all of that NOT hinder student achievement? I must be confused... Either you don't think these problems exist, or you think I'm superwoman. Tell me, please. Reality check: not everyone's sitting pretty at school or at home. Let's not forget that.

On a non-political note, I am also an advocate of creativity. One thing that drives me crazy is when students don't do their work because they claim to have no creativity. That is the greatest of all lies. Everyone is creative, no matter how strongly they might deny it. Creativity doesn’t just mean art. It’s a mental process. Creativity is problem solving. Problems aren’t always bad things, for example: What’s for dinner? How do I get from point A to point B? How do I approach this equation? How do I lead this group of people? Creativity is inventing. Creativity is imagining the unheard of, and doing it. As a future educator, I want every student in my classroom to find their personal flavor of creativity, and get them excited about expressing it. Creativity keeps this world moving forward. To deny creativity is to miss out on innovation. In leadership, in science, in art, and even in raising a family, creativity and innovation are needed. A future with stifled or unexplored creativity is a future that scares me. (Indulge me for a moment-- these standardized tests and NCLB mandates are killing creativity in academics, which incidentally, totally kills me.) Anyways, one day while feeling a little down about my future career, I stumbled across this Mormon Message on YouTube given by President Ucthdorf, or, the General Authority with the coolest hair I've ever seen:

I just love that. The message totally blew me away.

Well, I'm done stirring things up for a little while, maybe next time I'll blog about making cookies or something.

[RACHEL]

*Yes, this is for real, I am not being dramatic... OK, so maybe there aren't quite 90 billion standards... but the rest is legit. I get out of bed every morning at 5am so I can conquer that beast... and I love it.

Is it weird...

2010-09-24T13:35:00.004-06:00

to crave a place you've never been? Because I am completely enchanted by this:

The Blue Ridge mountains. I had a litte taste of the beauty of the Appalachian Mountains last year when I visited Kentucky and New England for the first time (was that really just last year??) and I'm not afraid to admit that I fell in love... but lately I've been wanting to see this particular part for myself. It looks like the perfect place to hike, camp, have picnics and connect with God through the great outdoors.

These Utah mountains are too big, the California too plain and brown. This is it!

And, I have also been in love with this song since forever...

Probably adds to my enchantment. There's just something about hippies with perfect teeth and gnarly beards, singing awesome songs in an abandoned building that is magical to me. I love the Fleet Foxes.

[RACHEL]

Goosebumps. But not the RL Stine kind.

2010-09-15T16:11:00.002-06:00

Do you ever get goosebumps when you hear or read something amazing? This happened to me three times in the past 24 hours. Awesome. Purely awesome. Evidence that I am well looked-after and quite loved by Heavenly Father. As previous posts have hinted, I am off and on doubting my career choice. Today was a day of affirmation. It all started out with remembering how my little brother dressed up as Jaime Escalante one day a long time ago for a report. A quick look on Wikipedia taught me that he was freakin sweet! He taught in Thugsville, just like I did. The only difference was, he was inspired by the different competency and socioeconomic levels, races, and lifestyles all around the student body. He helped students to realize their potential for greatness. He took kids from remedial mathematics and showed them their power to learn... until they were acing AP Calculus and going to Ivy League schools-- despite fierce opposition on all sides. He is now officially added to my hall of heroes!

The next time this happened was when my curiosity got the best of me and I finally read the transcript for President Obama's back to school speech he gave not long ago. Holy smokes. Yet another inspiring moment! By the end of it, I was feeling really good about teaching high school again. Here are some lovelies from it:

"Nobody gets to write your destiny but you. Your future is in your hands. Your life is what you make of it. And nothing -- absolutely nothing -- is beyond your reach, so long as you’re willing to dream big, so long as you’re willing to work hard. So long as you’re willing to stay focused on your education, there is not a single thing that any of you cannot accomplish, not a single thing. I believe that."

"It takes all of us in government -- from the governor to the mayor to the superintendent to the President -- all of us doing our part to prepare our students, all of them, for success in the classroom and in college and in a career. It’s going to take an outstanding principal, ...and outstanding teachers...-- teachers who are going above and beyond the call of duty for their students. And it’s going to take parents who are committed to your education.

Now, that’s what we have to do for you. That’s our responsibility. That’s our job. But you’ve got a job, too. You’ve got to show up to school on time. You’ve got to pay attention in your class. You’ve got to do your homework. You’ve got to study for exams. You’ve got to stay out of trouble. You’ve got to instill a sense of excellence in everything that you do. That kind of discipline, that kind of drive, that kind of hard work, is absolutely essential for success."

WOW. He really does know how to speak! I wish I could print this out and give it to all the students in my classes. Somehow, I have to help them to see.

The last one is for another time. But it's just as feel-good.

xoxo
[RACHEL, the high-school teacher... and someday professor]

The things people say.

2010-09-14T17:11:00.000-06:00

"Texture... isn't that like texting??"

"Were the high schoolers at your school more thug than us? Were the boys cuter?"

Student: Wait... you're married?!?!
Me: Yep!
(Student blushes redder than red and stops talking... no quiero saber, as my high school spanish teacher used to say)

Student: I hate this assignment, I already did it last year! Do I have to do it again?
Me: Yep! Life's rough, isn't it?
Student: It's rough when you're in charge...

(Hushed discussion about how to pronounce my name... they don't know I'm right behind them)
Student 1: Stabes?
Student 2: E-sta-vez.
Student 3: Staves.
Student 2: (to me) Are you Hispanic?
Me: Yes.
Student 2: AWESOME!!! ME TOO!! HIGH FIVE!!!

These students are a riot. I'm slowly but surely learning how to connect with them personally so that I can then connect with them intellectually. Easier said than done... but I believe it will be worth it! I think high school is the same now as it was when I was there back in the day, but what's changed is my perception of reality. The reality of consequences. The reality of life at its hardest. The reality of the need for approval and acceptance (and the crazy ways of seeking it out). The reality of doing your best to be comfortable with who you really are. Some of the decisions these kids make every day break my heart. It breaks my heart even more to think that for some of them, it all started with the haphazard choices of mom and dad before them. They can be a rough crowd, but I'm trying my best to see the good in them. All of them. Even if it is rough when I am in charge...

[RACHEL]

The Drs. Staves?!?!?

2010-09-12T16:46:00.000-06:00

So... we all know by know that Dan is going to be a foxy, world-renowned physicist when he grows up, which means that he'll go all the way and get his PhD. I, on the other hand was supposed to just be happy with my bachelor's degree, teach high school, etc., etc... But, as I have been student teaching, I've come to realize that I was REALLY spoiled by my great opportunities at BYU-- I got to teach a class for an entire semester, and then I went on to conduct special multimedia seminars for BYU's students and staff. Truth is, high school just doesn't cut it! I want to teach university students. So, now, instead of wondering what the nasty realities of the public schooling system will do to me, I'm looking in to masters programs so that I can catch my dream... Pepperdine? That's been sounding really good to me lately. Who knows...

With a masters I can at least be paid more as a school teacher in the little leagues, then take a step up to junior colleges. If that makes the cut, then good! If not, I'll go on and join my dear husband and the other big guys wearing the awesome title of DOCTOR. Is two doctors in one family too much? Too many brains? Too scary?

I thought I was sick of school, but this sounds really good to me.

[RACHEL]

Finished

2010-09-06T11:52:00.001-06:00

The curtains and pillows are all done... and they have been for about two months now. I really don't have any excuse for skipping out on a self-indulgent cyber celebration. But, here they are!

And, just for fun, here's the dining set that we just got... the one that I convinced Dan we needed more than an enormous flat-screen TV. Score. This place is finally starting to feel like home, minus the standard-issue BYU housing carpet, anyway.

I am feeling very pleased with the way things are turning out here in our mushroom-colored rectangle. Life is good. Stay tuned, my fingers are itching to type another post coming up... about my gang education and how I'm best friends with the Kearns High School football team. In other words, student teaching in the 'hood.

xoxo
[RACHEL]

jump.

2010-08-07T10:26:00.000-06:00

When I was younger I had a lot more daredevil in me than I do now. I think back to those wild summer days at Lake Powell with my perfect tan, and how I got a big thrill out of doing things that scared me, like cliff jumping. Even today, I can still remember how exciting it felt to be screaming bloody murder while falling forever, until I finally hit water.

At the end of this year, I am graduating (I know, finally...). Right now, I feel like I am standing on the edge, waiting to jump in to the rest of my life. The idea of having a real job... actually FINDING a real job freaks me out a little. I am not impressed with the state of the public schooling system and I worry about becoming embittered by the red tape and limited resources I am walking into. But, there's a growing (though little) bit inside of me that's ready to take it on an make excellence out of punks and nothing. I did choose to be a teacher, after all. I guess there's nothing much to do but jump in and make the best of it. That goes for student teaching as well, which also has me feeling equal parts excitement and freakout.

In the middle of all this I'm also wondering how kids fit into the scheme of things. I don't know if it's because I know so many people that are having babies, but I really can't go a day without thinking about kids... and then, I go to Nursery on Sunday and experience a high dose of the most effective birth control out there. I hope my children don't think it's funny to sock me in the boob like those kids do. Maybe I'm not ready yet after all :)

Last week was Dan's birthday, but today I am secretly going to give him a special birthday surprise, one that doesn't involve food poisoning at the restaurant that we've been dying to try for the last six months. There's a story to that... but I will have to save it for later.

[RACHEL]

Houston, we have a problem.

2010-07-26T15:29:00.002-06:00

I don't love the Houston airport. Or, maybe I don't love the Houston airport when a massive hurricane decides to happen. I love going back East... but it seems to me like every time I go, I get stuck in some airport in the middle of the country, indefinitely. This time, Dan and I were there for about 6-7 hours. Our flight(s) got re-routed and cancelled and pushed back multiple times, each instance making us feel a little more in a frenzy, and a little more hating those huge cowboy hats and fat mustaches we kept seeing. We finally made it out of Texas, but too late to catch a connecting flight anywhere reasonably near our final destination of New Hampshire. So, we stayed the night in New Jersey... me, with nothing but the clothes on my back, an orange, and my laptop. Dan was lucky, he carried on his clothes. Day or night, that state has got to have the most confusing roads ever paved. Then, we flew in to Rhode Island because we're lucky like that. I saw the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building from the plane, that's the closest I've ever been to either. Then, we drove through Mass and on to New Hampshire. And, I got my bags back, after the midnight horror story Continental airlines put me through at the Newark airport. I was pretty happy about that :)

The hassle felt adventurous, but left us both exhausted. We finally crossed the state line and were greeted by all those lovely trees and picture-perfect colonial style houses (can I have one for Christmas?). I do love that charming quiet life. I ate some scallops, Dan ate some haddock, and then we slept. We were in East Coast heaven.

From there, we had many delightful, sun kissed days filled with Skip-Bo, Bang, sailing (and flipping boats over), snake killing on a canoe in the middle of Kingston Lake (TRUE STORY), and family fun. The next week of our visit was spent at a house on Lake Ossipee. I am in love... Jet ski adrenaline rush, more sailing, late night games, ice cream shacks, bad BBQ... the nasty kind of bad, squirrel attacks, wake boarding with a too-short tow line... bad idea, searching for wi-fi, and a tan that beat out my sun-worshiping teenage days.Oh yeah, and shopping :)

I am very happy to say that I've found my own cozy place with the Staves folks. I love it!

The sunfish!

[RACHEL]

1955.

2010-06-01T09:50:00.006-06:00

(click to read)

I'll admit, I do love to put a good dinner on the table... and I do make sure the house is clean when Dan gets home from work (that's if he gets home from work before I do), and I'm always happy to see him, but seriously? I feel so blessed to live in a time where women aren't like this:

(that's Rosie from the Jetsons)

I like to think that a good wife has personality, chases her dreams, and strives to be well-rounded... (in addition to the foundation of unconditional love and nurturing). That makes home a lot more fun :)

Here's to not being in 1955, because, shoot, I left the house without any makeup.

[RACHEL]

Renaissance woman.

2010-05-29T11:55:00.001-06:00

Over the years, I've witnessed many interesting reactions to my chosen career field. When I switched from interior design to Technology and Engineering Education my email inbox exploded with overbearing rants from a long past ex-boyfriend's mom and sister spewing forth accusations of forsaking the divine calling of motherhood, wasting my education, and forgetting to take my decision to prayer (for your information, I prayed long and hard). And the guy- he just laughed. Other mothers of friends brush me off like I'm crazy. A past employer once said something that left me totally speechless: "Isn't that a man's job??" Others pigeonhole me and others like me with the socially incompetent or the rough around the edges crowd. My favorite, though, was said by a co-worker. "Tech ed teachers... aren't those usually men who swear?" To which I said, "I'm not a man, and I try not to swear." Long ago, I learned to bite my tongue and take the reactions as they came. Now, it's just funny.

Truth is, when I switched my major, it was liberating. I was finally studying something I could be passionate about, and not just in class. More importantly, passionate in the post-graduate planning area. I was passionate about my future. It was great! My parents were thrilled. My dad was happy to have one of his offspring choose the Fulton college of Engineering and Technology at BYU, the college that saw him through his undergrad and masters education and got him the job he loves.

While some people become uneasy about my wide range of skills, others celebrate them. Yes, I can weld, I can cast aluminum, I can woodwork and make furniture with solid hand joinery, I know all about the chemical reactions of making foam and plastics, I have lit things on fire that I wasn't supposed to, I can hard-code websites, I know my schematic symbols, I have a soldering iron, I haven't let the smoke out of any of my electronics projects, I'm pretty good with a staple gun, and I have my own awesome safety glasses and tape measurer. I also know the printing process inside and out. I design logos and corporate identities. I love photography. I'm sorry if some guys feel like I'm out-manning them... but sorry boys, I'm an XX, not an XY. Biologically impossible, meanwhile go get yourself a welder, it might make you feel better. That's why I knew my handsome man was a winner-- he wasn't freaked out by my mad skills.

On the softer side, I love cooking. I fill my spare time with making up recipes and searching for new ideas for dinner and dessert. I am crazy about sewing. I love making the apartment feel more like home with the things that I create. And, I can't wait to be a mom one day. I have not, no matter what anyone else says, forsaken my divine role of motherhood. I have embraced it by developing myself as fully as I can so that my children can learn from me.

Upon hearing about my many abilities one person told me I was a Renaissance Woman. I have never felt more complimented in my life. I felt honored to be the person I am, with the talents I have. One day, while observing students at a middle school, I heard a young girl say something in an engineering class that sums it up perfectly, "Girls can do anything boys can." You go girl! I hope she does great things with her life.

[RACHEL]

last night...

2010-05-20T16:38:00.000-06:00

I was in a deep sleep when suddenly I woke up (but just barely) because I had no feeling in my right hand. I was surprised, I haven't had that happen in a very long time. As I wiggled my fingers to make them feel normal again, I heard Dan say, "RACHEL!!!!" Since I was barely awake I got sort of confused. I said some things that weren't words, I guess you could call them tired noises. Then I finally came around enough to speak so I said, "what?" Dan said, "I love you." I told him I loved him too, smiled a little, and went back to making my hand feel better. I don't know if he was awake or not, but it sure was sweet :)

I told him this when we woke up again in the morning and he had a good laugh and told me that even his subconscious loves me... I am so glad. And after having dreams of being creeped out by unreal stalker behaviors of long past ex-boyfriends (multiple ex-boyfriends, might I add... I was bombarded) and telling them to get out of my face because I'm MARRIED... I too can say that my subconscious loves Dan.

[RACHEL]

love it.

2010-05-17T08:20:00.000-06:00

Well, here they are... and they've been finished for like a week... and I've talked about them in every post for the last month and a half... yes, here they are. I thought it was about time. The talented husband tied the sides, he did a pretty good job :)

This project was way easier than I thought it would be. For starters, I randomly decided to browse Savers (ghetto Orem thrift store) just to see what it was like and walked out with a bargain-- a shower curtain that was in impeccable condition. So, I washed it, removed the ruffle, and cut it in half. From there it was almost as if I had picked up some expensive and cute yardage from the fabric store... only the side seams were finished already. I cut it in half and finished the last side, then did a couple folds to fit it to the rod, made room for a new ruffle on top and sewed a couple straight lines. Finished. I made the side ties from some remnants of Ikea curtains I'd hemmed to fit our closet (since it didn't have any doors) and then Dan tied them up all pretty. We love it!

The top ruffle.

Side ties.

I think I found my new favorite hobby! Now, it's on to the living room window treatments... this time, no cheating with thrift store shower curtains. It's fabric store time :D

[RACHEL]

good morning.

2010-05-14T10:10:00.002-06:00

This morning I discovered that there are grumpy people on the road, even on BYU campus. People do funny things when they get embarrassed or flustered on the road. When it's me cutting someone off on the freeway, I try to at least look apologetic, but for some reason if it ends up being more adventurous (like the time I forgot to yield on a left turn, or the time I cut off a nearly-invisible motorcycle-- in my defense, he was an overconfident driver and was as much at fault as me) pride gets the best of me and I'll smile or laugh or smugly look them in the eye. That's about as fiery as it gets with me.

Today we witnessed a special fit of rage that makes me seem even more of a little lamb than I already am. Dan was dropping me off at work, and we were heading down 9th East, which is a slight downhill if you're going south. We'd signaled a right turn at a courteous distance and the light was green. We hadn't yet turned when out of the corner of my eye I saw a biker barreling down the bike lane. He realized this was going to be a problem very soon and shouted a word that oddly, I'd heard just the day before from a prima donna Fox 13 reporter outside the Wilk, but before that, it had been ages. After letting us know that he was effing mad, he barely snaked by, swerving to the left. I turned my head just in time to see him flip us off, just in case we didn't get the message the first time. I was mildly entertained.

[RACHEL]

Mother.

2010-05-11T08:34:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm still sewing! I'm about an hour away from a photo of the finished product (even in its halfway --one panel completed-- stage, Dan praised the curtain as looking like it came from the store). I do need to finish up my shift at work before I can get on with it, though. Minor details aside, it's been a fabulous project.

Sunday was Mother's Day. As a "someday mom," I was treated to a dinner lovingly made by Dan. I also had some nice conversations with my mom as well as my mother-in-law. These two ladies have shaped me and my husband into the people we are today, they taught us how to love. We are forever grateful for the gentle, loving, patient examples of our mothers.

Our parents... They did a good job.

I taught the nursery lesson at church. It was about family prayer. Those little kids know all the answers. They are taught well in their homes, by their families, especially their mothers. We had a little discussion about what we say we are thankful for in our prayers. I had a whole bunch of colored drawings to help them make connections. One of them was of food. I decided that the drink needed to be fruit punch because that's my favorite. I'm glad I did it because one of the kids noticed it, and ran up from his little carpet to touch the picture and yell "JUICE!!" when I asked what we could give thanks for. It's little things like that that make me happy to be in nursery. And, it's kind of fun to get accidentally called mom once in a while...

[RACHEL]

and then we celebrated cinco de mayo with a bowl of popcorn.

2010-05-07T09:00:00.000-06:00

Wednesday was my day off from work... I love that I have a day off right in the middle of the week where I can do whatever I want. Whatever I want usually consists of cleaning the bathroom or giving Dan a break from dish duty, but it's OK, I like it like that... what a housewife, no? I also put the dear sewing machine to good use making the tablecloth the right size for our table, and (drumroll please) starting the curtains for the bedroom! Yay! They are a cute white cotton eyelet fabric and I can't wait for them to be done! This project has been a treat for us both, I got my sewing machine and Dan got his freakinhot cordless drill so that we could hang the curtain rod without swearing. We win. Traditional gender roles do have their payoffs now and then.

After that episode of domesticity, we celebrated the acquisition of two bikes with a ride around town in which I got too tired to go to the ice cream store so we went home instead. I need to get used to that seat still, if you know what I mean... Though, I was brave and got all muddy whilst jumping a curb next to the stadium. I think that qualifies as awesome. My bike is now officially broken-in, with specks of brown all over its shiny white frame.

At the end of the day we decided that it wouldn't be Cinco de Mayo without a bowl of popcorn and me watching Hercules for the first time ever. I like that movie.

It was a good day off from work.

[RACHEL]

This time, last year.

2010-04-27T09:05:00.000-06:00

I taught Dan how to ride a skateboard in the church parking lot. We frolicked in the grass and had picnics. We fed ducks in the sun. I ate the best Thai food of my life in Kentucky, of all places. While there, I also had my first bacon cheeseburger ever, when my friends refused to believe I wasn't vegan. Then, I said bye to my honey bunches for a while so I could have foot surgery (or not...).

This year isn't too much different, except my podiatrist isn't threatening to cut my feet open, and I'm in Utah still with Dan. Well, I guess that's really different :) This spring, the activities include exploring beaver dams in the mountains, taking naps in the sun, and dreams of road trips, riding bikes, and grilling. We'll get around to those soon.

Last weekend my parents were in town because my big brother got his master's degree. That kid is smart. Anyways, with the fam here, I was finally able to try out the new Greek restaurant in town, the one that used to be the scary, poorly-lit Mexican restaurant that made me fear dysentery. Once it changed to Greek, I became secretly curious about it, but it wasn't until we passed by it with my parents and I said, "hey look, it's that Greek restaurant with all the flags" that anyone seriously considered going there. So we did. And it was AWESOME. The hummus and pita was tasty. I am in love with kebabs, and even more-- that bright yellow saffron rice! Holy moly... pretty soon they'll know our names over there. It was that good. I am a fan of restaurants that are off the beaten path, and in culture-starved Provo, this one fits the bill perfectly.

Sadaf Greek Souvlaki. TRY IT.

[RACHEL]

sewing machines.

2010-04-26T12:10:00.000-06:00

I've never cared too deeply about the decor in my previous apartments, it was never worth it with anywhere from 2 to 5 other girls equally claiming the space. No, not worth the fight... so, I just stuck to decorating my little corner of bedroom, the only spot I could fairly claim as mine. As a freshman, it started out with memories and surfers plastered on the walls. Nostalgic? Yes. When I got more into design I started making artsy posters and such, but still, the memories and surfers were still there. When I finally moved out of that apartment, I packed up those shirtless men and fond times but they never came back out again. I moved into a condo and it was a little more like home, a big-girl place. Also, my wall real estate went down by about 75 percent. So, I decided the walls ought to reflect this change in life. I kept it simple and clean with lovely frames and beautiful art. I let the others have their go with visual clutter. That was enough for me.

When I finally moved out of that apartment, I found myself embracing an even bigger change. I was crowned the queen of my own apartment, complete with a dashing king... marriage is good. With this change came the realization that as the only woman of the apartment, I could decorate anywhere, however I wanted (well, as long as hubby doesn't protest too loudly). And then it hit me, these mushroom-colored walls are so big and bare... it was exciting and intimidating all at once. Not long after I noted that the blinds were mushroom-colored as well. So, I did what I could and I am pleased to note that the bedroom is lovely. As for the rest, a little help is in order... studies show that people don't thrive in non-stimulating (aka mushroom-colored) environments.

One day, I was too bored for my own good so I started playing Desert Combat with Dan. After one too many helicopter crashes and a disastrous rogue tank episode, he decided that I needed a hobby of my own. I agreed. So he dragged me to the store and MADE me get a sewing machine. Life is rough ;) For the record, that man is unbelievable and I'm keeping him forever.

And so begins the transformation from mushroom-colored rectangle to lovely home. First up: curtains. Next, pillows? Who knows... but, I am happy to be filling my free time with wonderful domestic goddess-type activities. I'll save learning how to drive the tank for later.

[RACHEL]

Just thinking.

2010-04-02T15:35:00.000-06:00

I've been feeling the need to write lately, but I've been busy. In the back of my mind there's a burning feeling of guilt in remembering the blog I've neglected for the past month and a half. My heart is spilling over from the goodness life has to offer. The semester is finally coming to an end, and my husband is fabulous. Life in our little mushroom-colored apartment couldn't be better :)

We're still waiting for the time we can say that we actually fit in with our ward, though. Relief society makes me feel like I'm on my own little island. My own island... paradise, right? Who knew paradise could be so lonely. All I want is to meet someone who doesn't make me feel like a five-year-old. Someone who can relate to my stage in life... no I don't belong to the "most of us in this room have given birth" or the "I've been married for X years" club (try months!!). She will be a true sister. We will write Christmas cards and catch up on life when our kids turn 1, 5, 10, and 20. That sounds good to me.

I've never moved to a different ward in the middle of the year. It will come together, just as my lovely kitchen did (there was a time where I thought I'd NEVER get used to it). All in good time...

And, for good measure, here's some photos from the Holi Festival of Colors!!!!

THE LOVERS.

The Rachels and Dan. We are colorful and awesome.

I am wearing an Evel Knievel T-shirt.

[RACHEL]

Rod Stewart loves my hair.

2010-02-25T08:07:00.000-07:00

And he could love yours, too. All you have to do is try to get your "rockstar hair" (as my mom and uncles and random people have called it on various occasions) back... but here's the kicker-- go to a barber shop to save money and describe the cut without a picture. Holy holy moly... it works like magic. One Rod Stewart haricut coming right up.

I'm proud to say that I fixed it all myself with my favorite red scissors, but goodness gracious, this was not what I had in mind when I got my post-wedding haircut. I'm not sure if it was better or worse than that time I had a David Bowie haircut... what is it with me and odd British rockers?

Lesson learned: if you don't trust the person cutting your hair, (and then you put on a hideous jacket and dance around and sing your guts out) you could look like this:

Da ya think I'm sexy??

Hair grows back. This is not my misfortune anymore :)

[RACHEL]

Dia de los LOVERRRS (and a recipe).

2010-02-24T14:17:00.001-07:00

Life is wonderful! Well... except for the part where the Staves home was completely ravaged by the coxsackie virus. Basically my man's been ill (to the degree of ZOMBIE) for the past 2 weeks. It was a little nicer to me (perhaps I was blessed after nearly dying of the flu last October while he just had the sniffles) and I've been functioning somewhat normally... but, poor hubby, it's been tough to see him so sick. This evil sickness blew through our home right around Valentine's day, so we decided to reschedule for last Saturday. Luckily we were both able to muster up some energy and left the house for the first time at 5:30 to have a bite to eat for dinner at PF Chang's. I'm pretty sure that we payed more for the fine dining experience (decor, atmosphere, trendy music, food styling, and those enormous horse statues) than we actually did for the food we ate, but we loved it anyways.

Although we've been married only about a month and a half, we've got some mighty fine traditions going on. One hails back to the time when we were just barely dating and thinking, "What if we get married one day?!?!?!?" CHEESECAKE. The first time I ever made cheesecake was last Valentine's for Dan. I really liked him so I went all out with Brownie Mosaic Cheesecake. Continuing on with the goodness I made another this year. I'd been thinking about what kind to make for about two weeks, when I decided that no recipe could capture what I wanted to do and I should take various bits and pieces from here and thereand go for it using the internet and my imagination (Thanks to Deb over at Smitten Kitchen for the elements and inspiration-- I searched cheesecake on her site and off I went). My friends, I present to you:

Cherry topped cheesecake with ganache-lined crust. (or, This Pretty Circle Means I Love You)

First, the crust:

1 1/2 Cups finely crushed graham cracker

3 T sugar

1/2 Stick butter, melted

Mix the crumbs and sugar, then add butter and stir with a fork until all clumps are gone. Press into a springform pan, evenly on the bottom, and creeping about 1/3 way up the sides of the pan. Bake for 8 minutes in a 350 degree oven (maintain oven heat after removal, this is the baking temp for the cheesecake). Stick that puppy into the fridge for a bit (or, while you make the filling...)

Ganache filling:

1 cup cream

1 cup chocolate morsels (I did half milk chocolate and half semi-sweet... adjust according to how sweet or dark you want it)

1 t vanilla

Bring the cream to a simmer over medium-low heat, then remove from heat and add chocolate. Whisk together. The heat from the cream will be enough to melt the chocolate quickly. Once smooth, add vanilla. Pour the ganache into the crust and put it back into the fridge. Refrigerate until ganache is firm. I don't know how long that takes because I was impatient and did not wait.

Cheesecake filling:

3 boxes of cream cheese

4 large eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup sugar (or less if you want to avoid that cheesecake coma feeling you get when you eat one bite more than you can stomach. I used the whole cup, to counter the tangy cherry topping)

Beat cream cheese with electric mixer until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time. Then, add vanilla and sugar. Place springform pan with crust on to a baking sheet (this prevents disaster) and pour filling into the pan. If you don't wait for the ganache to set, then it will creep up the sides as the cheesecake filling is poured in. This is what happened to me. No big deal, it would taste the same, but I had a little encounter with a chocolate volcano (harmless, I swear) in the oven as it baked. Bottom line, if you want the chocolate to be a secret, wait until it is set. Bake for 45 minutes at 350, or until the cake is set 3 inches in, but still jiggly in the middle. Don't turn the oven off just yet... you'll need it in a couple more minutes!

Sour cream topping:

You might wonder why... (it almost got skipped over but I talked myself into it last minute) my only reason is that it's oh so tasty ... a perfect complement to the cherries! And, it hides the inevitable surface cracks that cheesecakes get.

1 1/2 cups sour cream

1/3 cup sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla

Mix all ingredients thoroughly. Spread evenly over the cake, and bake for 10 minutes, or until the topping is nicely set.

Now, put it back into the fridge...

Last part, I promise :)

Cherry topping: (I got this one off the can, Oregon Brand, if you're wondering)

1 can tart red cherries in juice

1/2 to 3/4 cup sugar (according to your tastes, I used 1/2 cup)

2 tablespoons corn starch

1/2 teaspoon almond extract (optional, but freakin good!)

Drain cherries, pouring the juice into a saucepan (I didn't do this and it turned out just fine). Add sugar and cornstarch to the juice. Cook over medium heat until the liquid thickens and changes from a cloudy pink to a clear, dark red. Add cherries and almond extract. Let the topping cool before you spread it over the top of the cheesecake.

Also make sure that baby's been refrigerated for a good couple of hours before cutting into it, unless you want a disaster or a blob instead of a masterpiece.

Your husband/boyfriend/family/roommates/friendly multimedia consultant at the BYU library will love you for making this. And, you will love yourself.

I'll post the photos when I get home... right now, I'm at school sitting next to a trash can that smells like rotten yogurt, so I can't. I figure that's a good excuse, right?

[RACHEL]

Married!

2010-01-22T14:59:00.000-07:00

Yes yes, the big day came! December 29th, 2009 in the San Diego Temple. The sun shone after a week of threatening to rain, the decor came together nicely, the food was fabulous, and we were smokin hott!

Just out of the temple

Our girls :)

Cake by Ali (She's gonna be famous one day)

And then we danced...

It was a lovely day! (and whoever took this picture is awesome!)

The day we got married was the beginning of something so special. Best day of our lives? Yes. Hands down.

[RACHEL]