You know you're in bad shape when...

The VP came in to evaluate me and decided to leave because he took one look and saw illness. It's pretty rough yet comical when  feeling like crap translates into looking like crap.

I haven't looked at myself in the mirror yet, and now I am kind of scared to.

On a brighter note, I have made a return to graphic design. I got out my Wacom tablet for the first time in about a year and I am so excited to be back :) Unfortunately, though I have come to realize that it's time to do something about the current computer situation. Ever since I updaded my iMac to OSX Lion, it's been pretty sluggish, even just browsing the Internet. It was frustrating, but I dealt with it. When I started to use Photoshop and Illustrator at the same time, it made me even more angry than the commute home, when people drive under the 55 MPH construction zone speed limit. I'm pretty sure I could smell my processor melting.Who needs that kind of stress in their life? Time to look at a new computer... or something less exciting and more time consuming, like backing up all of my files and re-installing. Blah.

Maybe I will post some of my designs that I have been working on lately. It's nice to be doing something more than playing around with my blogger layout.

[RACHEL]

ps. need a graphic designer? I'm awesome.

Jan.

It's been a year... I've only been home once since (and not even for a holiday), so in some ways, it still hasn't quite sunken in. When I think of how I want to be, my grandma always comes to mind. There are so many things I wish I could have learned from her, she was a great teacher and knew so many great things. She was a creator-- a quality I loved about her, and also possess myself. I miss not being able to peek over her shoulder at whatever she was cooking or painting or making, to see how I could do it myself.

Shortly after hearing the news, I was assigned the task of making the funeral program. I have always loved graphic design and creating impeccable layouts, but this project was strange for me to approach. I had to try to make this for everyone. One of the hardest things about it was choosing the pictures. Grandma was the cutest kid in the world, and one of the most beautiful women I have ever known...

Families are forever-- one of the most important things I have learned.

[RACHEL]

For the first time.

A student is blasting Queens of the Stone Age's 'No One Knows' ...


Me: That's a good song! I remember listening to it all the time when it came out. I was a freshman in high school... (then it hits me-- this kid is the same age as I was when I first heard the song)

Student: Yeah, my dad teaches me all about rock.

For the first time ever, I feel old.

[RACHEL]

vibrant.

After taking a handful of vitamins every day for about a month, I am noticing a "good day" here and there. Days where I feel like my good old self-- vibrant, excited to make dinner (no more of this "why don't we just have  bread..." stuff), getting by without the once-requisite 5pm nap. This is an amazing new development in the day to day life of Rachel. I know I still need more time to really heal, but this is a very wonderful beginning of the journey back to good. Feeling blessed, feeling hopeful. 

Now, to de-stress... that's a bigger beast to tackle than remembering to shovel a small mountain of vitamins down my throat every day (and the financing thereof). I know I can't get back to 100% until I free myself from all of that stress. I already get 7-8 hours of sleep a night, so I have that in my favor, but I really need exercise as a way to renew. I always have. Right now, it's difficult to squeeze it in to the daily routine-- sleeping 8 hours, working 9 hours, and commuting 2 hours makes finding the motivation/energy to exercise tough when there are papers to grade and food to get onto the table. Summer, please hurry! In the meantime, while I am counting down to June... any advice from you guys on squeezing exercise into the daily routine?

That's basically my life lately. Just keeping it simple.

Oh, I just realized that I forgot to fill you in on my days in paradise... way back in December. That will have to come later.

[RACHEL]