Trying.

So, I have attempted to write a post about 3 times now, only the problem is, I have never actually typed anything. If you're one of the people who gets to know my secrets then you know that my life usually consists of me coughing up a hairball of confusion over something or some things or someone or sometwo. I think it keeps things exciting (Not to mention, it made for some really frightening journal entries in my single years about dating. I could have had my own TV show)!!

Right now, I find myself in a rare moment of clarity. Weird. Anyway, after a year and a half of waffling over grad school, I signed up for the GRE. I am on my way to grad school. As soon as I took care of this, I could feel the frenzied feelings drift away. Sometimes we just need to make decisions, I guess. It feels good to be chasing after my dreams, and to have the full support of my husband and my Heavenly Father.

Grad school has always been on my checklist as a sort of stepping stone to my final destination of professor. I had no idea how the timeline would play out for this ambition of mine, but I am glad to see that I am progressing toward it. I still don't know how things will unfold, but I can tell you, I have never felt more alive. I've remembered the dreams I somehow buried and am on my way out of these doldrum days. YES!

In other news, I am binging on winter squash. I love it! Squash stew, squash bechamel lasagna, or roasted with snap peas. This might be the only redeeming quality of the cold season.

It is cold now. Not freezing, just the kind of cold where it's chilly in the morning but still too hot at night for my hormonal body to sleep. It makes me wish my heater had a timer. I feel like a zombie, which I am sure keeps my students very entertained. What language are you speaking, Mrs. Staves? Are those real words? Stop calling everything a "thing," you're the only one who knows what you are talking about. I tell you, I am fried. That might explain the scattered nature of this post.

[RACHEL]